Hi. So what this non-fiction film is is that there are these five people and they have these wacky houses -- like there's this one guy who lives on a houseboat and this couple where their entire house is tailored to their 11 cats and this other couple in Kansas who lives underground in a former nuclear missile launch site. That sounds pretty cool, you are thinking, but then you think some more and you say to yourself, "Self, once I have seen tours of these five wacky houses and meet the wacky people who reside in them, what else is there to see to fill the remaining 60 minutes of this 90 minute documentary?" I will tell you what else there isn't to see. Much. (Former-nuclear-missile-launch-site storyline excepted, because learning cool stuff about that is cool.)
Also, dear all documentarians: If you are telling multiple stories, and you are not trying to draw parallels among the stories ala Errol Morris in Fast, Cheap and Out of Control, please just go the first-half-of-Spellbound route and tell your stories sequentially rather than intertwining them, because if you intertwine them then certain viewers are going to look for the parallels you are showing by this intertwintion and when they do not see any they will get sad.
oh so lovingly written by
Matthew |
i sincerely do not know what you are doing here. are you lost? were you
looking for your delicate calico cat, and did you follow her up two flights of stairs
to this room? she is not here. she was here, yes. we gave her a warm bowl of milk, we talked with her about campaign finance reform for a time, and then she bid us good day. i believe she was
going to the post office two blocks down, but i don't quite recall.
for surely you did
not find your way from prinsiana, the least traveled site on
the internet. if you did, though, perhaps you are looking for humor. perhaps you are looking for profundity. perhaps you are looking for answers.
i'm sorry, but you shall go naught-for-three.
