Grammer [sic] lesson number one: We all know quite well about the subjunctive verb conjugation of "to be,"¹ which states that if your sentence is subjunctified by the prior addition of an "[singular noun or pronoun] hope[s]" or an "if"² or (occasionally) some other anti-indicative words that directly express a situation other than status quo that, even if the subject is singular, the verb form must instead jive with the plural.³ Simple examples:

"If I were a butterfly, I would fly." (Not "If I was a butterfly, I would fly.")
"I wish I were a butterfly." (Not "I wish I was a butterfly.")

Perplexing example:

"There is something wrong with the sentence, 'Ha ha, I'm serious.' If I [was/were] smarter, I'd know what that something [was/were]."

Of course, the first "to be" verb in the second sentence need be "were" rather than "was." But what about the second "to be"? I'm relatively confident that it's "was," but it still feels awkward having a subjunctive form and a non-subjunctive form of the same verb in the same sentence. Hmm.

I hope I have helped you take a quiet nap.

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1 Or sometimes other verbs: In "I insist that she kiss me," the verb "kiss" is in the subjunctive case; that's why it's "kiss" instead of "kisses."

2 Confusingly, although, not always. "If he was at McDonald's yesterday, like he said he was going to be, then I bet he got the hamburger Happy Meal" is correct, because there's no presupposition of untruth. But anyway.

3 I suspect that no one except Ed is still reading after this sentence, alas.