Kris Kringle and the omnibus post will have to wait until Monday, as I need to speak to you about an investment opportunity. That investment...is me! (CUE: Murmurs of surprise and people whispering "Pumpernickel pumpernickel pumpernickel."1) Specifically, that investment is my upcoming, untitled book of essays, poems, and short stories. Looking at the stuff I've posted on the website, along with unfinished stuff lounging at my computer at home, along with stuff that I've finished but just never posted anywhere, and along with stuff I'll be writing in the near future, I do sincerely believe that with a couple months' work, I could put together a 150-page book of my writings. Yeah. Maybe.
I've been taking a peek at Print on Demand -- we have a PoD book at work, and it looks pretty swell for being lasered -- and I've figured that for no more than $500 for paperback or $640 for hardcover, I could print 20 copies of my book.2 (Additional copies would list for $13/$19, and -- at least on the site I'm looking at -- be available from Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com). I'd make about $2.50 per book sold paperback or about $3.50 hardcover, depending on where they were sold.
So here is what I am thinking. I am thinking of selling 20 shares of my book, available at either $25 if I go paperback or $32 if I go hardcover. If you buy a share in my book, you get a free copy of my book, signed, and you get your name listed in the acknolegementts3. More importantly, you would get 4 percent of my profits from the book. At about 120 copies sold (perhaps do-able), you'd make back all but what you would have normally paid for the book; at about 250 copies sold (not gonna happen), you'd make back your entire investment; at 10,000 copies sold (uh...), you could buy 5000 chicken nuggets at Wendy's.
I'm not soliciting for potential investors yet. I'm just trying to get a feel on how utterly stupid this idea is, so please let me know.
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1 It's an actor's thing. Just ignore it.
2 I can either go one way or another, not both.
3 That misspelling is to help dissuade you from taking me up on this offer.
i sincerely do not know what you are doing here. are you lost? were you
looking for your delicate calico cat, and did you follow her up two flights of stairs
to this room? she is not here. she was here, yes. we gave her a warm bowl of milk, we talked with her about campaign finance reform for a time, and then she bid us good day. i believe she was
going to the post office two blocks down, but i don't quite recall.
for surely you did
not find your way from prinsiana, the least traveled site on
the internet. if you did, though, perhaps you are looking for humor. perhaps you are looking for profundity. perhaps you are looking for answers.
i'm sorry, but you shall go naught-for-three.
