Um, wow. You really shouldn’t be posting that type of information on the Internet, you know. Why not?
Identity thieves and such. Oh. Is my identity that lucrative?
Oh yes. Everyone wants to be Matthew Prins. Oh. Cool. Thank you.
You’re welcome. What is your Myers-Briggs Personality Type? INFJ.
Okay, yeah, so if you’re an introvert like you say you are -- that’s the I in INFJ -- why are you so extroverted at bell choir? Um, I’m a situational extrovert. Further, my situational extroversion is a very theatrical, droll one that seems even more outgoing than it actually is. It’s quite noticeable in bells because I know the ringers quite well and because I’m in a leadership position where extroversion is expected and needed.
I think I went to high school with you. Did I? Yes.
Cool. Assuming you went to high school in Ames or Iowa Falls, Iowa.
Oh. I went to high school in the Netherlands. Nope. That ain’t me. Sorry.
Are you sure? I remember you in Holland; I remember how sexy and witty you were. I was the bikini model, if you'll recall, and… Oh, oh! You mean those Netherlands. Oh yes, of course. That was me.
Your wife wouldn’t mind if I asked you out, would she? Kim does tend to frown upon me going out with bikini models, yes.
You’re not even the type to go for the bikini model, are you? Nope. I go more for the intellectual, religious, innocent-looking type who dresses conservatively.
Hi. I am an intellectual, religious, innocent-looking type who dresses conservatively. Would Kim mind if you went out with me? I’ll ask her. Be right back. [Pause.] She said she would mind. Sorry.
Do you not really have any friends? No, I don’t.
Really? Okay, yeah, I actually do have friends, yes. Probably enough to get me into double digits. Maybe.
Why do you say that you have no friends, then? Um, I dunno.
Can I be your friend? No.
Why not? No.
Who is Thew? Me.
Who is Dale? Me.
Who is Ed? Josh, my brother.
Who is Beth-Annie? Beth, my sister-in-law.
Who is moM? My mother.
Who is Thelma? I am not at liberty to say.
When are you going to update your haiku contest? Did you ever write any more of your novel? Why aren’t you writing film reviews very often anymore? Who was your tenth grade crush? Where are those three Burger King stories? Isn’t this page self-absorbed? Do you even care about other people? Why would people even want to read this page? This FAQ is over.
oh so lovingly written by
Matthew |
i sincerely do not know what you are doing here. are you lost? were you
looking for your delicate calico cat, and did you follow her up two flights of stairs
to this room? she is not here. she was here, yes. we gave her a warm bowl of milk, we talked with her about campaign finance reform for a time, and then she bid us good day. i believe she was
going to the post office two blocks down, but i don't quite recall.
for surely you did
not find your way from prinsiana, the least traveled site on
the internet. if you did, though, perhaps you are looking for humor. perhaps you are looking for profundity. perhaps you are looking for answers.
i'm sorry, but you shall go naught-for-three.
