Why I will fall asleep at work this morning. I thought I had escaped jet lag coming back from Alaska. Getting 90 minutes of sleep in 36 hours (from 11:00A Eastern on Saturday to 11:00P Eastern on Sunday) and then going to sleep for 10 hours afterward left me quite refreshed on Monday after a bit of waking up. However, my eyes said to me last night, "Matthew, we would prefer to remain open until 3:00 in the morning. I hope that is not a problem for you."
And then I said, "Why yes, Mr. and Mrs. Eye, that is a problem for me, as I need to be up at about 7:00 in the morning to go to work, and if I get only four hours of sleep tonight, I am going to be groggy and ill-tempered at work tomorrow."
And then my eyes said, "So which one is the male eye and which one is the female one? Also, isn't it a little strange to have a conversation with your eyes?"
And then I said, "Well, yes it is, but if it gets you to close at 11:30P -- which is when I want you to -- rather than 3:00A -- which is not when I want you to -- then this whole perverse conversation is worth it."
And then my eyes said, "Yeah right."
And then I said, "Now you listen here, you niggling little ovals. You will close this instant, and if you do not close this instant, I will subject you to watching an entire episode of 'Fear Factor.' I will stand with my pupils directly facing a smoking charcoal grill. I will take a shower and not care where the shampoo falls on my face."
And then my eyes shrugged.
oh so lovingly written by
Matthew |
i sincerely do not know what you are doing here. are you lost? were you
looking for your delicate calico cat, and did you follow her up two flights of stairs
to this room? she is not here. she was here, yes. we gave her a warm bowl of milk, we talked with her about campaign finance reform for a time, and then she bid us good day. i believe she was
going to the post office two blocks down, but i don't quite recall.
for surely you did
not find your way from prinsiana, the least traveled site on
the internet. if you did, though, perhaps you are looking for humor. perhaps you are looking for profundity. perhaps you are looking for answers.
i'm sorry, but you shall go naught-for-three.
