Good morning. My name is Matt Prins. It used to be Matthew Prins, as some of you well know; however, today I am what I will call a "new man." You see, I am a relatively normal guy: I have normal music tastes, I have normal film tastes, I am of relatively average intelligence, fine, yes, I'm lying, whatever, but I'm trying to lay the groundwork for this obscene statement I am about to make, and it will seem even more ridiculous if it seems like I don't have these obscene and strange statements fluttering in-left-ear-out-right every hour of every day, which I do, but this one stuck somehow and I almost like it and I almost think it's a good idea and I, well, I don't almost think it's doable, but I don't know, why the heck not.
This is my idea: that I should run a marathon.
No. Please. Stop with the hurtful laughing. Do not mock me. I am becoming sad, and I may very well cry. This is, this is me putting my heart out on the line for my friends and family and random people looking on Google for "wet tees," and I would like your support, and I am not feeling your support right now. I am thinking that you are thinking that while I am certainly in better physical shape than I was two or three years ago, I am still not in the peak physical condition of my late high school days, and even in those late high school days I could not run a mile in under eight minutes. That is what I am thinking that you are thinking, and I am also thinking that you are thinking that I do not even particularly like running and "why Matthew Prins er sorry Matt Prins would you run a marathon that is not making the sense why do you not I don't know play Ping Pong instead."
I do not know why. I will no doubt give up my training in three days. But I am going to start, at lunch, today. I have two months. Or, uh, a year and two months.
i sincerely do not know what you are doing here. are you lost? were you
looking for your delicate calico cat, and did you follow her up two flights of stairs
to this room? she is not here. she was here, yes. we gave her a warm bowl of milk, we talked with her about campaign finance reform for a time, and then she bid us good day. i believe she was
going to the post office two blocks down, but i don't quite recall.
for surely you did
not find your way from prinsiana, the least traveled site on
the internet. if you did, though, perhaps you are looking for humor. perhaps you are looking for profundity. perhaps you are looking for answers.
i'm sorry, but you shall go naught-for-three.
