"The story you are about to see is a fib, but it's short. The names are made up, but the problems are real."
To be more precise, the story is real, but the numbers are not; they are [mod $10] from the actual numbers, however.1 I bought this present for Kimberly -- a tuba, let's say -- at Target's website online. I had a coupon for the item, and Target had free shipping, and for some reason Target let me use both free shipping and the coupon, so my receipt looked like this:
However, later that week, I found a better tuba (four valves instead of three; silver polish rather than brass) at another store that I decided to purchase for Kim. I checked target.com's return policy, and they said I could return the tuba I bought at any Target store.
So today at lunch, I lugged the tuba out of my trunk and put it on the customer service counter at the Short Pump Target. I gave them my receipt, and after saying that I wouldn't get the money I paid for shipping returned on the item, they (very nicely and willingly) gave me a credit to my Capital One card as follows:
Yes. I paid $165.82, got a credit of $173.14, for a bank error in my favor of a bit over $7.
Now. For one point, pick which of these scenarios will now occur. (All who answer correctly before the scenario occurs get the point.)
a) Target does not realize its error, and I end up $7 richer.
b) Target realizes its error, removes the coupon from my credit, and I end up breaking even.
c) Target realizes its error and decides, what the hey, let's take his free shipping credit too, and I end up $5 poorer.
c') Target does not realize the coupon error but takes away my free shipping; I'm about $2 richer.
d) Because the credit is larger than the purchase, the credit does not go through, and no one tells me.
e) Because the credit is larger than the purchase, the credit does not go through, and Target tells me.
f) Because the credit is larger than the purchase, the credit does not go through, and Capital One tells me.
g) I get the tuba sent back to me by Target.com in lieu of my refund. (Not exclusive of d, e or f.)
h) I am banned from ever shopping at Target again. (Not exclusive of a through g.)
Please. Guess.
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1 Devon, understanding what [mod $10] means is not necessary to enjoy this story, so you better still read it. Okay? Okay.
i sincerely do not know what you are doing here. are you lost? were you
looking for your delicate calico cat, and did you follow her up two flights of stairs
to this room? she is not here. she was here, yes. we gave her a warm bowl of milk, we talked with her about campaign finance reform for a time, and then she bid us good day. i believe she was
going to the post office two blocks down, but i don't quite recall.
for surely you did
not find your way from prinsiana, the least traveled site on
the internet. if you did, though, perhaps you are looking for humor. perhaps you are looking for profundity. perhaps you are looking for answers.
i'm sorry, but you shall go naught-for-three.
