It's hard to believe she found someone even better than absolutely perfect me...

...but a casual visit to my high school alumni page led me to discover that my high school prom and winter formal date, Suzy Craig, is now Suzy McIntyre. I suppose she may have changed her last name out of boredom, but, um, knowing Suzy as I did, I think the more likely -- and happier -- scenario is that she's now a married woman. Not that you'll ever read this, Suzy, outside of maybe a Google search on your own name, but congrats!

This revelation prompted me to Google my first girlfriend, my between-Suzy-and-Kim girlfriend, and my tenth-grade crush to see what their current marital statuses are, and the results are, in order: Single as of the 2000-2001 school year, no relevant Google results, and almost certainly single as of March of 2003. I'm not sure what, if anything, this information means.