What would have been the greatest moment in cinematic history, bar none.
I was looking for a quote from Being John Malcovich for a film discussion board I frequent, and I happened across Kaufman's original screenplay, which, I kid you not (and look here if you don't believe me), has the following scene, which does make it in the final movie with one major change:
INT. CRAIG AND LOTTE'S LIVING ROOM - DAY
...On the TV, Derek Mantini is working a 60 foot high marionette from the top of a water tower. The assembled crowd is enthralled.
TV ANNOUNCER The crowd is enthralled as Derek Mantini, arguably the greatest puppeteer in the history of the world, performs "The Belle of Amherst" with his 60 foot Emily Dickinson puppet, directed by the inimitable Charles Nelson Reilly.
Charles Nelson Reilly floats by in a hot air balloon.
CHARLES NELSON REILLY Beautiful, beautiful! Nyong-nyong.
I am crying because that did not make the final cut.
i sincerely do not know what you are doing here. are you lost? were you
looking for your delicate calico cat, and did you follow her up two flights of stairs
to this room? she is not here. she was here, yes. we gave her a warm bowl of milk, we talked with her about campaign finance reform for a time, and then she bid us good day. i believe she was
going to the post office two blocks down, but i don't quite recall.
for surely you did
not find your way from prinsiana, the least traveled site on
the internet. if you did, though, perhaps you are looking for humor. perhaps you are looking for profundity. perhaps you are looking for answers.
i'm sorry, but you shall go naught-for-three.
