3-29-2001 Winner

Oh, absketball

Oh, absketball, oh
dribble with your belly, please,
and not with your hands.

Pamela Harvey


Honorable Mention

O help me, dear mother! for the crowds rise for them, but not for me

O orange sphere! O dread!
I cannot bounce nor shoot, for
I am The Aimless!

thelma dawn esprit

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Symmetry

Baseline, free-throw line
Large arc, half-court circle, large arc
Free-throw line, baseline.

Pam R. Whittens


Other Notable Haikus

The sport invented in Boston, MA
I do not know much
about basketball, except
Iowa State stinks.

PattyT

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Anarchistic

The coach’s shout of
"Guard your man!" is gibberish.
We’re playing a zone.

Pam R. Whittens

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Page 4C (Which is the fourth page in the sports section of this particular imaginary newspaper I am imagining myself reading)

Bulls win! Bulls win! Wow!
(A lie: Even my faux rag
can’t envision *that*.)

Dopey McWilliams

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national basketball association
nba is bleak.
bliss is on sabbatical
close to saint lucia.

hélène françoise lipogramme

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conceptual dribbling

antiboingestab-
lishmentboingianism.
boing. boingian boing.

thelma dawn esprit

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Cheerleaders

The sexiest girl
I know is a cheerleader:
Antarctica State.

Dopey McWilliams

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Basketball -- An abstract essay denoting the relative strengths and weaknesses of that fundamentally and stereotypically American, yet, contradictorily, Canadian-invented game

Orange ball. Peach bas-
ket for a hoop. Boston. Fun
had by most, mostly.

Guido Calrissian

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de-, de-, de-, defense

triangle-and-two,
box-and-one can’t outclass the
ruthless dot-and-four.

thelma dawn esprit

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Half-truths about James Naismith that revolve around clay
He invented clay.
He used peach baskets as clay.
His name: James Claysmith.

Dopey McWilliams

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Iowa State East
Floyd, Hoiberg, Fizer.
And they probably couldn’t
beat Hampton, either.

Pam R. Whittens

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Basketball is dumb.
Basketball is dumb.
Overgrown players and a
Too-short hoop. Boring.

Alex Klages

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xba
vince’s fresh concept:
no charging, no full court press,
and no attire.

thelma dawn esprit

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Found haiku about Julius Erving in the Columbia Encyclopedia

Known as "Dr. J."
Erving was the first leading
practitioner of

Dopey McWilliams