re ni f sol teh t
i regret the day
i taught my two-year old
the solfège scale.
Honorable Mention
Softer lint, eh?
We Canadians
use an enhanced breed of sheep
for our cotton shirts.
---
Lo, stern thief
My leather's missing,
Stolen from the dungeon, dark,
Whip and handcuffs, too.
---
This tenor elf
He used to be a
baritone, but then they saw
that he was an elf.
Other Notable Haikus
Esther no lift.
Esther no lift this
big box filled with sixty bricks.
Esther lift feathers.
---
It's her Teflon
She tells her husband
about her day at work, and
it all slides right off.
---
'Tis north. Flee!
Harriet Tubman
walked ninety miles to freedom.
Why didn’t she drive?
---
‘en, the florist
Jen did not value
the twelve roses I gave her.
Yes, they were plastic.
---
Fir Telethons
We must save the trees!
Pledge your support, and receive
a life-sized redwood.
---
"No Thrift Eels"
"No, sir. Read the sign.
All of our eels are sold at
the everyday price.
---
Leftist Rhino
"I am anti-guns,
anti-death penalty, and
anti-elephant."
---
firnothelest
the word appeared to
me in a dream, so now I
use it. screw webster’s.
---
Noel, The First
King o’er all Britain,
he was killed in a bizarre
knighting accident.
---
el fish rotten
the reek of marlin
hovers like a mist of puke
through the red lobster.
---
Hint: so fertile
She told me that she
wasn’t ovulating, but
that wasn’t the case.
---
Slither Often
Benjy can’t yet walk,
so he squirms on the floor like
a snake on acid.