A wise, kind soul once said, "In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun." That was a lie, of course, as many jobs are not fun at all and could never be: taking out the trash, making waffles, and judging haikus. Regardless, Prinsiana Haiuks is all about judging haikus, and in that capacity, we feel compelled to pick a so-called Haiku of the Year.
Regardless, how droll this all is.
(Regardless, I can't remember the definition of the word "droll," so I'm not confident that this truly is droll.)
Regardless, as the sole proprietor of Prinsiana Haikus, allow me to point out that my favorite haiku, Ms. Esprit's "a conversation between a ceratosaurus and a camptosaurus," received no votes except my own. The other judges are stupidly stupid.
Regardless, let us announce our medallists:
Bronze Medal
from the first contest, Pam R. Whitten's
"No Parking Between 9 AM and 3 PM on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Odd-Numbered Sundays"
A Tuesday. I'm fine.
Wasn't "Frasier" on last night?
Where's my Toyota?
Judges' comments:
- "The line-by-line heightening urgency of this haiku makes it my personal favorite. Line one is calm. Line two is confused. Line three is panicked."
- "Like the author -- a haiku this emotionally naked can only come from experience -- this happened to me once. It was a Tuesday, I thought, but then I remembered that 'Frasier' was on the previous night, and then I couldn't find my Camry, but then I remembered that there was a special Monday 'Frasier' on the previous night, and then I remembered that I didn't own a car, as I was 9 years old."
Silver Medal
from the ninth contest, Andrew Vardeman's
"Twister"
Twister isn't quite
the children's game I once thought.
Shame, Milton Bradley!
Judges' comments:
- "An extremely honest look at the loss of our innocence as we grow older, discovering such things as the myriad hidden messages in Disney films."
- "Like the author -- a haiku this emotionally naked can only come from experience -- this happened to me once. It was a Tuesday, and I was playing Twister, but then I remembered that 'Frasier' was about to come on NBC, so I intentionally lost so I could watch the antics of the Doctors Crane, but then this girl I liked decided to join in, and the 'Frasier' was a rerun of that one where Frasier has a crush on a girl but there's a big misunderstanding and so she ends up not liking him, so I was very sad, which is why I cried when I read this haiku, because that Twister game symbolized the my passage from boyhood to manhood, although I don't know why it did, because it was really a pretty innocuous experience, nothing like that day when that other girl I liked kissed me in my neighbor's closet, although since I was only five at that time I suppose I was too far away from manhood to make that transition."
Gold Medal
from the fourth contest, hélène françoise lipogramme's
"casually, inadvertently, bohemianly"
ruled by vineyard veins,
my cadaver and i dance
that curvy vinyl.
Judges' comments:
- "The best actual poem of the bunch. [Awesome former Ames High School English teacher] Mrs. Campbell would absolutely love this one."
- "yeah.........................yeah."
- "Like the author -- a haiku this emotionally naked can only come from experience -- this happened to me once. It was a Tuesday, and I was watching Daphne and Niles play Twister on 'Frasier,' and 'Workin' in a Coal Mine' was being played in the background, and I just danced, danced, danced, danced, danced."
Return to Prinsiana Haikus, author of the 1963 Haiku of the Year.