Hi. Hi. So what is Silhouettist Music Press, anyway? Silhouettist Music Press is a sheet music publisher started by me, Matthew Prins, that focuses on handbell music with a limited audience. To start, we've noticed a dearth of handbell music for small ensembles -- fewer than 75 pieces are available for handbell trios, for example -- so we're trying to expand the available repertoire for groups that are smaller than full choirs. We hope in the next couple years to publish arrangements for a few secular songs from the last 40 to 50 years -- another area where handbell music is sparse -- along with some high-level 2-octave music, and maybe... But wait a second. Almost by definition, none of these pieces are ever going to sell into the tens of thousands of copies, so how are you able to print such short runs? Aren't setup fees on presses astronomical if you're only printing, say, a couple hundred copies of a piece? Yes, but my father-in-law is Warren Buffett. Really? No. Oh. No, we push the envelope by printing digitally and on-demand: a new proactive paradigm which makes possible the facilitation of Silhouettist Music Press possible. You said "possible" twice. Oops. And that's a lot of hot-button business words in one sentence. Yeah. Sorry about that. It's okay. Thank you. Anyway, printing digitally and on-demand means that we can print smaller runs of music, and other than the lack of color on what we print -- which would be prohibitively expensive -- you won't notice any quality difference between the music we print digitally and the music others print on a normal press. Okay, great, I'm going to send in my order today. First off: How much will it be for shipping if I buy two copies of... Shipping will be $1.85. But you didn't let me finish, because I'll also need... Shipping will be $1.85. But... Do you live in America? Yes, but... Whether you buy one piece or 400,000, shipping on your whole order will be $1.85. It's just simpler that way. Do I have to pay sales tax? Only if your order's being shipped to Virginia. And when should I expect my order to be on my doorstep? Every Saturday, all the orders from the Saturday previous through Friday (the day before) will be printed and packaged. On Monday, they will be shipped USPS First Class. But I need my music for a concert on Sunday, and today is Tuesday, so would it be possible for you to send it out earlier? Usually, yes. E-mail us at silhouettistmp@yahoo.com and we'll see what we can do. I have this handbell piece I've written which is the awesomest handbell piece in this history of handbell pieces. Would you be interested in publishing it? Silhouettist Music Press is not currently accepting outside submissions, although we may change this policy in early 2005. I have a few more questions, if you don't mind giving me a few minutes of your... Actually, I'm already late to a meeting, so please send those questions or any other inquires, to silhouettistmp@yahoo.com, or via the postal service to: Silhouettist Music Press, P.O. Box 3312, Glen Allen, VA 23058-3312. This...this fake conversation we're having, to try to answer questions people may have about your music company... Yes? ...isn't it a bit too clever for its own good? No.